Sunday Afternoons

I get so bored on the weekends. The week is full of things to do. You can go shopping, there are good shows on, summer activities with your friends, and pretty much everything else. The weekend is a lonely time. There's nothing to do, everybody usually has plans, and I sit in my room and be bored out of my mind. The problem is that when I get bored, I tend to get a little antsy. I'm not a genius, but I'm pretty creative and smart. Those traits along with boredom can equal a problematic combination. Of course it can also be the source of much amusement. It is during boredom that I come up with things like downhill-bed-luge-skijump-fencing and the Flying Cheesecake Fortress of Doom. I would try to gain access to my schools chem lab so I could experiment,but they lock up all the fun stuff. Liquid nitrogen ground-surfing. YES! Another brilliant, yet potentially dangerous, idea from the boredom of me. I should patent these.Of course, then someone will try it, get injured, and sue me. Maybe patenting these is not a good idea. Of course, people say that about the Flying Cheesecake Fortress of Doom. But they'll see, they'll all see, MUAHAHAHAHAHA! whew. ah sundays. A deliciously bland smoothie of  boredom and crazy. Sunday is the mother of all emotional ups and downs.

My Lair

In order to fulfill my desire for world domination I realized that I need a suitable headquarters. A head quarters that is essentially me, while still refraining from the classic villain mistakes named in the Evil Overlord List. After some thought, I chanced upon the perfect combination of menace and hope. I will have a FLYING CHEESECAKE FORTRESS OF DOOM! It's a combination fortress and confectionery. That flies, and is capable OF DOOM! Those who submit to my benevolent rule will get cheesecake, cookies, cake, chocolate, etc. Those who resist will get the OF DOOM! It's your classic carrot/stick thing. It will have a castle with beautiful gardens and a balcony so I can laugh maniacally when applying OF DOOM! It will also have a top-notch hospital for my henchpeople (It's the21stcentury after all) and their families (why can't world domination be a family business). I will have a school so that my support staff can make sure their children receive a quality education. Realizing that I may be attacked by those reluctant to give up power, their will be emergency escape chutes located every 50 ft. It'll be a family friendly and family fun flying fortress of menace. Also, their will be lots of  gyms and required fitness times (the fat henchmen always die first). It will also possess an obscene amount of explosive, laser, and mass based weaponry. When someone thinks about attacking, I want to be able to point everything I have at them and have them go "Eep". All my fighter squadrons will be drones. 1 fighter per pilot, but the pilots will remain safely inside the walls of my Fortress. That way, I don't waste pilots and I don't have to tell families that daddy is gone (or mommy, 21st century). My goal here is to make the surrender of the world an appealing choice. On the one hand, there is cheesecake. On the other is OF DOOM! However, certain people *cough*McKenna*cough* will be heavily watched regardless and will not be allowed to be anywhere near me without heavy security. Some people are just crazy dangerous.

Downhill-bed-luge-skijump-fencing tournament.

Yes. It IS as awesome as it sounds. First, let me state that this exercise is, as of yet, purely theoretical.
First, two queen size beds are placed on wheels. They start off next to each other. Two people get on each bed, one in front (the driver) and one in the back (the swordsman). The driver just turns the wheels to keep the bed within it's track (path down the hill). On the call of "CRRRRAAAAAZZZZYYYY!" both beds are released and speed down a steep hill (Preferably in San Fransisco). While they are speeding down the hill, the swordsmen attempt to get in as many hits upon the other swordsman as possible. They may not leave their bed. After the beds hit the ski jump and are airborne, both driver and swordsman do tricks to earn points before hitting the water. Bonus points for landing on their own mattress. The more hits and the more outrageous the trick, the better the score. Physically, it's dangerous. Mentally, it's crazy. Personally, I can't wait!

-ISH

I am firmly convinced that -ish is the greatest word in the english language. While technically not a word, it is useful in pointing out the grayness of it all. Some languages, like spanish, seem to be severely lacking in the -ish factor. The makes these languages severe and definite. -ish has saved me from awkward situations many times by making the situation not awkward, but awkwardish. See? It works! I'm not a genius, but I'm genius-ish.

Goals

Everybody should have goals. It's important to have something to strive for. And since people are always telling me to have goals and reach for the stars, I think it is important to state my goal for everyone to see.

WORLD DOMINATION

Yeah, I know. Very evil villain of me. However I have come to the belief that the only way I could fix the problems of the world would be to rule it as a benevolent dictator. This is going to be very hard to achieve as I am against causing death. So I need to start a company that can research cutting edge technology. Then I can move to the moon and create a corporate state while buying up companies on earth until I control all of the Earth's economy which would enable me to take control without having to go to war. I know it sounds crazy, but it would solve a lot of problems. Illegal immigration would no longer be a problem because there would be only one nation, labor laws would be universal, and police would no longer have to have jurisdictional fights over the prosecution of international criminals. Healthcare would come out of the taxes so there would be higher taxes but no more fighting with insurance companies. Ultimately I think I could make the world a better place if everyone would just do what I tell them. Of course, considering all the effort I'd have to put into it, it seems like a fool's fate. I'm gonna have to work hard for years in order to work harder for no gratitude. I think Coldplay had it right, "Who would ever want to be king?" I still think it's the best method for me to fix the world, but I'd miss my favorite shows. So to recap, bow before me but only if Castle isn't on.

A New Beginning

This is not my first blog. I had another, but I deleted it. It was pointed out to me that it was full of anger and bitterness. There is enough of that in the world already without my adding to it. I still want to share what I think and how I feel, I just want to make sure that they are things worthy of being shared. To that end I started a new blog. One in which I can write poetry and tell stories, or even write messages of hope. Or perhaps I'll just talk about the first time I had Hot-buttered Rum. This is not just a new blog. It's my new beginning.