While discussing the future and politics with some of my friends, I thought of what I would do if I were president.
First off, I would campaign on a platform of truth, justice, and the right to tazer idiots at will. I feel that we have been to lenient with the idiocy running rampant in our society. If idiocy was more likely to be swiftly and painfully punished, less people would choose to engage in it.
I would create a new position, The Secretary of Offense. He would make sure that nobody wanted to mess with the U.S.
Violent videogames would now be considered training so we can drop individuals into combat zones and let them run wild. On a side note, most of them would be convicted of violent crimes. It's more like aggressive expulsion.
In general, I would be a bad president. But you should still vote for me, because at least America would seem strong and crazy. It will be a time of great peace.