Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Lair

In order to fulfill my desire for world domination I realized that I need a suitable headquarters. A head quarters that is essentially me, while still refraining from the classic villain mistakes named in the Evil Overlord List. After some thought, I chanced upon the perfect combination of menace and hope. I will have a FLYING CHEESECAKE FORTRESS OF DOOM! It's a combination fortress and confectionery. That flies, and is capable OF DOOM! Those who submit to my benevolent rule will get cheesecake, cookies, cake, chocolate, etc. Those who resist will get the OF DOOM! It's your classic carrot/stick thing. It will have a castle with beautiful gardens and a balcony so I can laugh maniacally when applying OF DOOM! It will also have a top-notch hospital for my henchpeople (It's the21stcentury after all) and their families (why can't world domination be a family business). I will have a school so that my support staff can make sure their children receive a quality education. Realizing that I may be attacked by those reluctant to give up power, their will be emergency escape chutes located every 50 ft. It'll be a family friendly and family fun flying fortress of menace. Also, their will be lots of  gyms and required fitness times (the fat henchmen always die first). It will also possess an obscene amount of explosive, laser, and mass based weaponry. When someone thinks about attacking, I want to be able to point everything I have at them and have them go "Eep". All my fighter squadrons will be drones. 1 fighter per pilot, but the pilots will remain safely inside the walls of my Fortress. That way, I don't waste pilots and I don't have to tell families that daddy is gone (or mommy, 21st century). My goal here is to make the surrender of the world an appealing choice. On the one hand, there is cheesecake. On the other is OF DOOM! However, certain people *cough*McKenna*cough* will be heavily watched regardless and will not be allowed to be anywhere near me without heavy security. Some people are just crazy dangerous.

1 comment:

  1. Wait... where would the escape chutes escape you to if it's flying?